Tuesday 27 April 2010

Still Finding Stuff...

...After an initial flurry of 3 posts that no-one read this blog died an unmourned death but now, like a Jesus of miscellany, it rises with acres of crap to fling at the internet.
We start, dear reader, where all good things should start - with a look at the classic April 1976 issue of Womancraft.



First off, of course, you will fill with envy as you note the fabulous flirty shawl and realise that, with this being over 30 years ago, it will no longer be available from whatever the high fashion shops of the day were - Swap Shop or Woolworths probably. But look closer, below the hat, into the arrow pointing into the snappily dressed lady's face and you notice that this shawl can indeed be timeless! For inside, preserved on this shiny dead tree is instructions on how to make it.
Oh, 1970s woman - how we love your quaint ideas of making things - with your hands! You despicable, sexy animals!


But what did the 1970s eat? Surely we cannot find both their fashion and their food in one handy bible aimed at the woman who wants everything? You fools! This is the 1970s - when real woman couldn't just multi-task they were actively forced to by their men. See this wholesome dish inspired, no doubt, by the retro chic of rationing throwbacks - Stuffed Cabbage. Oh Ambassador, with this stuffed cabbage, you really are spoiling us:


Of course, this magazine isn't just for bored housewives, it is also an essential toolkit for the child killer inside everyone of us



'Remember Mandy from the December issue?' I don't have the December issue to hand but I presume Mandy was one of those children who just didn't know when to keep their goddam mouth shut so now in April we're making a doll out of her skin! Yay! Why not give it to your favourite neighbourhood child to endear yourself to them and make sure they know when not to speak out of turn. I cannot be certain but I think this may link in to the front cover's promise of 'Clever Cover Ups for the home with something to hide!'

The highlight of this issue is hidden amongst all the dolls of skin and sexy shawls it is 'Learning About The Law' - do they have amusing little ideas for women to try? Maybe I can take an ironic swipe at them sitting on my throne of 21st Century knowledge? No, it's the lady's name. Gay Search. GAY SEARCH. In a article on the law - there are so many jokes. Well, one. I think you may need to move your face closer to the screen to see it

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