Thursday 29 October 2009

I am not grumpy



I got this as a present from my then girlfriend, I think it may have been for my 21st birthday or maybe my 20th. She'd meant it as a joke because I was, apparently, and still am, apparently, a rather grumpy man. I was not so keen on being viewed as the irritable, dour face of misery - certainly not when I lived in Scotland, and Dundee at at that - showed my annoyance at the gift which did not really help my cause. I didn't think I was being either unreasonable or too moody regarding it - I just plainly stated that I was not grumpy and as such the gift made little to no sense with maybe a frisson of irritable tone behind it.
She offered to take it back saying that she was sorry to cause such offence - but oh, how she said it, in that biting way. I said it was fine and my party continued - everyone turning away from the hissed words to get drunk and celebrate the day a man who's personality can be summed up by a blue Roger Hargreaves 'Gift Collectable' was born.
It broke about three days later. Not properly broke, just fell off the desk and left it a bit wobbly. As you can see, there is a crack just above the base and it's slightly unsteady - it makes more sense why he is so grumpy now. I obviously couldn't say this to my girlfriend as it would seem rather suspect. So, it was just a case of making sure he was strategically placed where she would see him but not notice him. I realise now that she probably wouldn't have a given a toss if he had a minor crack on him or even a massive crack. It was a minor present just there to offset the actual presents she had got me (that I don't really remember now).



He sat just below my computer monitor for about a year. He's only small - he doesn't take up much space and he just sat there. I took him to my next flat as well, where he sat at the edge of my desk - once again daring the world to push him off and complete the job. I never did. He seemed to be fine now, I didn't really have many objects on my desk apart from cups and post-its, etc. that I was too lazy to move but nothing sentimental. I suppose he, just by virtue of me being unable to tidy up, had become a sentimental trinket.


I do like this one as he looks rather domineering. Less Mr Grumpy and more Mr Dictator.

We broke up (the girlfriend and I not the Mr Man [sidenote: is it 'the Mr Man' or is it 'one of the Mr Men'?]) about 6 months later, or about a year and a half after she gave me the Mr Man and I moved out of my flat a few months later. I still had the box, which was surprising, so I packed him back up in the polystyrene and this is the first time I've taken him out since - the crack is in the same place, of course, nothing has changed. And I'm still not grumpy

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